Step Out & Thrive Ministries with Bethany Boring
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Ready To Walk On Water?

I love Peter's experience of walking on the roaring sea with Jesus. But the thing is, Peter's story is often misunderstood. Do you have a step you need to take?

Listen to this message I gave at a women's retreat to gain the fresh perspective you need to see Jesus in a new way! My FREE gift to you!

Let’s Do Battle

“I’m not wanted.”

Those words just repeated continuously through my head as I looked at the closed door just inches from my nose.

Tears began to stream endlessly down my cheeks as I began to walk away from the very things I wanted to be closer to.

On the other side of that doorknob was a life I wanted so badly. A reality that I claimed as my own. A story continuing that I was not a part of any longer.

This wasn’t the first time in my life that this phrase had shot pulses of poison through my heart. In fact, this line has occurred in my life since as early as I can remember. It’s not that the world purposefully decided to be against me. No. It was the way I interpreted the events that happened to me.

We all interpret life events differently. (This is exactly why the Enneagram fascinates me!).

But here I was again with the unending refrain “I’m not wanted” echoing through my head and circling deep into my heart. Like a spider making a web on confusion, this interpretation had turned into a lie that sucked the life out of everything I wanted to do.

Enter “Kill The Spider” by Carlos Whittaker. I had this book on my iPhone for years since the audiobook released. Someone mentioned it was worth reading and I purchased the audio version on sale. As most of my books do, it was never opened, until that day.

I will not ruin the book for you, but if you enjoy stories and truly life-changing experiences, get the book. If you want to hear the author himself read it (even better) get the audiobook!

In the very last chapter, Carlos outlined a battle plan to “Kill The Spider” – the lie that continues to cause issues in our life. Personally, I think he saved the best for last. As he shared this simple outline, I immediately stopped what I was doing and began to journal it out. It’s SO incredibly easy to follow, yet giving God full control to go as deep as He wants to go. The first time I walked through this with my “I am not wanted” spider lie, it took me a few HOURS to get through everything.

Longer than I expected?


Worth it?

Every single minute.

The Battle Plan: Kill The Lies That Hold You Back


CONFESS: Begin by agreeing with God that you believed in the lie and in return lost sight of His Truth. Note – you are agreeing with God. Thus, He shows you the lie that you are believing in. This can take minutes, hours or even days. Trust me here – it’s worth asking and definitely worth the wait.

RENOUNCE: This is your public refusal and line in the sand to abide by the lie any longer (through the power and Truth of Christ of course). Personally, I took the time to recount some of the instances the lie “I am not wanted” kept me from living my life fully grounded in His Truth. What did I miss out on? What territory needs to be reclaimed?

REJECT: Specifically call out the lie by name, verbally rejecting any hold it has on you. You are free in the blood of Christ Jesus and through Christ, it has no power over you anymore. (I entered intense spiritual warfare here. Saying this out loud was critical for me).

REPLACE: Ask Jesus to come in, heal and restore this place where the lie once took up residency. This has to be done – it cannot remain empty. I literally went through each memory where the lie took something away and asked God to replace it with His presence. He literally painted the circumstance from a different perspective I had not seen before. It changed everything.

I walk through this process in my prayer journal and I’ve had the privilege to walk a few coaching clients through this process as well. It is intense. It is a battle but God is fighting for you.

And I should add – it’s not a “one-time” fix. It’s a continual, “God I know this is so hard for me but I’m bringing this dang spider to You again. Help me God.”

PS – And God always moves.

Want help walking through this process? Contact me and let’s go through the process together. 

Remember, dare to do more than just survive, step out and thrive!

About the Author Bethany

Hello and welcome to Step Out And Thrive Ministries! My name is Bethany Boring and I am proud to be called a child of God before any other title or role. I am a mom to 3 amazing boys. I enjoy writing for this Step Out And Thrive community and walking with you as we venture through the ups and downs of life together. I am an ICF trained Certified Professional Christian Life Coach (Christian Coach Institute Graduate), Motivational and Inspirational Speaker, mentor, Certified Human Behavioral Consultant (DISC Personality) and an author. As always - dare to do more than just survive, step out and thrive!

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